El Gran Poopal

There have been many famous "mobiles" that TV characters have driven or ridden throughout the ages. There has been the Bat-mobile, the Cat-mobile, the Monkee-mobile (hey hey we're the Monkeys!), and now we have the Pope-mobile. ***(Ed. note) I do not want to mock anyone's religion, but I am going to make a few observations from his most recent visit.***

Like a child on Saturday morning waiting for his favorite cartoons to start, I eagerly awaited my chance to see the holiest of holies last Saturday afternoon. Granted, I wasn't the early bird that caught the worm as one could tell from my vantage point. Yet, if you squint just right, you can see the vague outline of the white collared man himself in the left of the Pope-mobile

Unlike that child from above I was left feeling a bit wanting. I've been to a Catholic church twice in my life. I know I should have known what to expect. I got what I paid for. A fleeting image of the head man himself, from half a block away, who nary turned in my direction, before Poof he passed my intersection. There were people shouting, crying, and whatever else Catholics do. I was left thinking what cult am I in the midst of.

After the "show" there was a noticeable drain from the crowd. It was as if everyone had the same thoughts, that was it?! Now what do I do? I don't feel any different. No one was miraculously healed, cripples didn't walk, and I have yet hear about any decrease in crimes, famines, or ethnic cleansings.

No, the lasting impression people had on their minds was now how the "F" do I get out of this Zoo. All the streets were blocked, subways weren't running, and so like the sheep we all were...we herded some more and reflected... "A once in a lifetime event."...

I should've slept in...

(Sorry for the no line spacing...Blogger won't let me fix this, even though the Html coding says I should have about 5 lines between each paragraph. Dennis!!! Help!!!)

Places I've never been... but my phone has

So that's the phone I lost/was stolen over a month ago now. It was a great phone. LG characterizes the phone this way "the VX8700 will satisfy your craving for serious style with its ultra-thin shape, sleek metal finish, and mirror-like screen." I'll start from the beginning.

I'm returning, in a cab, from a sobering adventure of a preseason seeding game of two hand touch co-ed football that was played in the rain. On my return trip home, I'm making small talk with the cabbie. He stops in front of my apartment and I gather my belongings to exit the cab. As I am about to open the door, I notice a throng of people standing underneath my building's awning. One person in particular is blocking my exit as he waits for me to leave. Obviously this doesn't make any sense, but if you would have seen this particular "ghetto" individual...suffice it to say you would have expected such behavior. I exit the cab, mumble under my breath about having no manners (or something akin to that), and then hop in my elevator. Whoops! I'm missing my cellphone.

It turns out that my cellphone decided to hightail it out of my pocket while I was still in the cab. I run back outside...no cab. I run back inside and call my phone 30 times. No answer. I go to Verizon and try and activate my old phone so that the other one can't be used on my dime. Before I switch phones though, I call my old phone another 20 times. Lo and behold Mr. Thuggish Ruggish answers "Hello?". I reply, "Hello. You have my phone." Ghetto replies," I do?" I reply, "Come on dude, you just picked up a call from a caller that says "My Home"!" Dial tone.... I ring a couple more times and chalk it up to a Ghetto victory.

FF to tonight. I receive a call from area code 413 to my home phone. The woman asks for Jenny. I reply, "Sorry you got the wrong number." She calls back but this time blocks her number. Same conversation basically happens. Then this same woman calls my cell phone, which happened to be listed in my old cell phone as My cell phone (don't ask why I had that entry...)! Now, I'm beginning to suspect something is a bit amiss from this serial caller. In a not so nice voice I ask,"Who is this? How do you have my cell and my home number?" She responds by saying," You're not from around here are you?" I reply," I'm from NY." She replies," Well I'm from Springfield. I found this phone from a kid walking on the street, I charged it, and I wanted to see who it belonged to."

Springfield, MA!!! My phone was stolen in NY, somehow traveled to Springfield, MA, was in the hands of some kid on the "streets", and now is being used by a woman who has the gall to call me to see who I was. She had no interest in returning the phone, since I lived so far away. So I said keep it. Then I called Verizon, reported it stolen, and now the phone doesn't work. Not only will it not work but when she goes into the Verizon store to figure out why her new phone doesn't work...BINGO! The phone gets confiscated since it was reported stolen!!! Happy days are here again!!! Ghetto Fabulous Springfield Woman 0 - Salinas 0.5 (I still don't have the damn phone...but I do get the satisfaction of knowing no one else gets to use it either!)